This is hard update for me to make. I’m not mad, but sad.
If I was a more compassionate, I would be sad about the sate of the world. Wars that go on forever. The poor who aren’t being fed. The homeless I see on my city streets everyday.
Nope, I’m not sad about any of that. Instead, I’m sad about losing my job as a volleyball coach. It’s selfish. I won’t be returning as a coach or an athletic director for the first time in twenty-one years. Yep, I’m sad and I feel I have lost my direction in my life.
This morning, I there out all of the t-shirts, hoodies, and polo shirt that have my school’s name on it. Am I unemployed? Nope, I still have a job. I can still pay the bills, buy food, and pay my taxes. I really have nothing to complain about yet I am. I’m wasn’t finished being a coach. Here comes more of me being selfish, I apologize. I had a winning season. I was given a coaching award for my teams efforts this year. I have been involved with athletics most of my life and I’m not mad because I know it’s not always about the coach. Sometimes there are other factors involved. It’s athletics; these things happen all of the time. I understand, but it doesn’t make me feel any better.
Come next season, I will have more time to write, publish, and attend conventions annnnd eventually I will feel better again. But for me, today, I feel sad.